
第七章 错误:错误 名家失手 例子和纠正 冗长错误
以下例句中,括号里的单词或词组是多余的,应被删除。
例1 Fill the glass (full).(把玻璃杯灌满。)
例2 They appeared to be talking (together) on private affairs.
(看来他们在聊私事。)
例3 I saw the boy and his sister (both) in the garden.
(我看到男孩和他妹妹在花园。)
例4 He went into the country last week and returned (back) yesterday.
(他上周去乡下,昨天回来了。)
例5 The subject (matter) of his discourse was excellent.
(他的演讲主题棒极了。)
例6 You need not wonder that the (subject) matter of his discourse was excellent; it was taken from the Bible.
(他的演讲主题非常棒,你无须为此感到惊讶,因为这个主题来自《圣经》。)
例7 They followed (after) him, but could not overtake him.
(他们跟随他的脚步,但却无法超越他。)
例8 The same sentiments may be found throughout (the whole of) the book.
(同样的观点在本书内随处可见。)
例9 I was very ill everyday (of my life) last week.
(上周我每天都病得很厉害。)
例10 That was the (sum and) substance of his discourse.
(那就是他演讲的内容。)
例11 He took wine and water and mixed them (both) together.
(他拿了酒和水,并把它们混在了一起。)
例12 He descended (down) the steps to the cellar.(他下楼去了酒窖。)
例13 He fell (down) from the top of the house.(他从房顶上摔了下来。)
例14 I hope you will return (again) soon.(希望你早日归来。)
例15 The thing she took away here stored (again).
(她带走的东西在这里又出现了。)
例16 The thief who stole my watch was compelled to restore it (back again).
(偷我表的贼被迫把表物归原主。)
例17 It is equally (the same) to me whether I have it today or tomorrow.
(今天得到它还是明天得到它,对我来说没有区别。)
例18 She said, (says she) the report is false; and he replied, (says he) if it be not correct I have been misinformed.
(她说,这个报告是错的;他回道,如果报告不正确,那就是我得到了错误的信息。)
例19 I took my place in the cars (for) to go to New York.
(我在去纽约的车里占了座。)
例20 They need not (to) call upon him.(他们不需要给他打电话。)
例21 Nothing (else) but that would satisfy him.
(除了那个,没有什么能让他满意。)
例22 Whenever I ride in the cars I (always) find it prejudicial to my health.
(每次我坐车都觉得它对我的健康不利。)
例23 He was the first (of all) at the meeting.(他是开会第一个到场的。)
例24 He was the tallest of (all) the brothers.(他在几兄弟中是最高的。)
例25 You are the tallest of (all) your family.(你是家里最高的。)
例26 Whenever I pass the house he is (always) at the door.
(无论何时我路过房子,他都在门口。)
例27 The rain has penetrated (through) the roof.(雨水浸透了屋顶。)
例28 Besides my uncle and aunt there was (also) my grandfather at the church.
(除了我的叔叔婶婶,我的外公也在教堂。)
例29 It should (ever) be your constant endeavor to please your family.
(让家人开心应该是你不断的追求。)
例30 If it is true as you have heard (then) his situation is indeed pitiful.
(如果你听说的是事实的话,那他的处境很可怜。)
例31 Either this (here) man or that (there) woman has (got) it.
(无论这个男人还是那个女人,都没有它。)
例32 Where is the fire (at)? (火灾在哪儿?)
例33 Did you sleep in church? Not that I know (of).
(你在教堂里睡过觉吗?没有。)
例34 I never before (in my life) met (with) such a stupid man.
(我从没遇到过这么蠢的人。)
例35 (For) why did he postpone it? (他为什么要把它推迟?)
例36 Because (why) he could not attend.(因为他没法参加。)
例37 What age is he? (Why) I don't know.(他多少岁了?我不知道。)
例38 He called on me (for) to ask my opinion.(他喊住我,问我的看法。)
例39 I don't know where I am(at).(我不知道自己在哪里。)
例40 I looked in (at) the window.(我看向窗户。)
例41 I passed (by) the house.(我路过那幢房子。)
例42 He (always) came every Sunday.(他每周日过来。)
例43 Moreover, (also) we wish to say he was in error.
(还有,我们想说他错了。)
例44 It is not long (ago )since he was here.(不久前他还在这儿。)
例45 Two men went into the wood (in order) to cut (down) trees.
(两个人到森林里砍树。)
其他冗长的例子可以以此类推。在新闻写作中,很多地方经常出现一些从意义上来说没有必要存在的,或者不需要被用来解释文章的单词还有词组。
权威作家们犯过的语法错误
有时,就算是最顶尖的演说家和作家也会犯错。许多在我们的认知里不可能犯错的权威作家都多多少少触犯过基本的语法原则,违背一个或多个词类的使用规则。实际上,有的作家甚至不断违反所有九个词类的规则,但他们仍然坐在荣誉宝座上,接受众人的崇敬。麦考莱就曾错用过冠词。他写道,
例46
That a historian should not record trifles is perfectly true.
(一个历史学家不应记录琐事,这句话是完全正确的。)
他应该用an。
狄更斯也错误地使用过冠词。他称《鲁滨孙漂流记》为
例47 an universally popular book(一本广受欢迎的书)
正确写法应该是a universally popular book。
名词和代词之间的关系一直都是演说家和作家面前的绊脚石。哈勒姆在他的作品《欧洲文学》中写道:
例48
No one as yet had exhibited the structure of the human kidneys, Vesaliushaving only examined them in dogs.
(到目前为止,还没有人成功地展示过人类的肾脏,维萨里仅仅检测过狗的肾脏。)
这句话的正确写法应该是,
No one had as yet exhibited the kidneys in human beings, Vesalius having examined such organs in dogs only.
(到目前为止,还没有人成功地展示过人类的肾脏,维萨里仅仅检测过狗的肾脏。)
亚瑟·赫尔普斯爵士在写到狄更斯时这么说:
例49
I knew a brother author of his who received such criticisms from him (Dickens) very lately and profited by it.
(我认识他的一个兄弟作家,就在不久前,他从他(狄更斯)那儿得到一些评价,受益匪浅。)
这里不应该用it,而应该用them,才符合criticisms这个词的形态(复数)。
以下是一些著名作家犯的代词方面的错误。
例50
Sir Thomas Moorein general so writes it, although not many others so late as him.
(托马斯·摩尔爵士总的来说是这么写的,尽管没有很多人像他一样这么晚。)
——特伦奇的《英语的过去与现在》
这里应该用he。
例51
What should we gain by it but that we should speedily become as poor as them.
(我们从中所得的,不过是快速地变贫穷,像他们一样。)
——艾莉森的《关于麦考莱的散文》
这里应该用they。
例52
If the king gives us leave you or I may as lawfully preach, as them that do.
(如果国王准我们离去,你们也好,我也好,就可以像他们那样合法宣讲。)
——霍布斯的《内战史》
这里应该用they或those,后者能让人更好地理解句意。
例53
The drift of all his sermons was, to prepare the Jews for the reception of a prophet, mightier than him, and whose shoes he was not worthy to bear.
(他所有布道的主旨,都是让犹太人做好准备,接纳一位比他更强大、不配忍受他的先知。)
——阿特伯里的布道
这里应该用he。
例54
Phalaris, who was so much older than her.(法拉里斯比她年长得多。)
——本特利的《关于法拉里斯的书信的论文》
这里应该用she。
例55
King Charles, and more than him, the duke and the Popish faction were at liberty to form new schemes.
(查尔斯王,还有比他更重要的公爵以及天主教派人士可以自由地商议新计划了。)
——博林布鲁克的《关于党派的论述》
这里应该用he。
例56
We contributed a third more than the Dutch, who were obliged to the same proportion more than us.
(我们的贡献比荷兰人高三分之一,而荷兰人原本的定额应比我们高三分之一。)
——斯威夫特的《盟国行为》
这里应该用we。
在以上所有例句中的代词本应该用主格,但都错用成了宾格。
例57 Let thou and I the battle try.(让你和我去战斗吧。)
——阿农
这里let是使动动词,后面要接宾格。所以,这里不应该用thou和I,而应该用you(单数)和me。
例58
Forever in this humble cell, Let thee and I, my fair one, dwell.
(让我和你,我的佳人,永远地住在这个简陋的小屋里。)
——普莱尔
这里thee和I应该用宾格的you和me。
关系代词的使用难倒了绝大多数作家。
就算在《圣经》里我们都能发现关系代词的错误使用。
例59
Whom do men say that I am? (人们说我是什么样的?)
——圣马太
Whom think ye that I am? (你觉得我是什么样的?)
——《使徒行传》
在这两个例句中都应该用who,因为该词不是跟在say或think后面的宾格,而是动词am的主格。
例60
Who should I meet at the coffee house t'other night, but my old friend?
(那天晚上我在咖啡馆除了见我的老朋友还能见谁呢?)
——斯蒂尔
It is another pattern of this answerer's fair dealing, to give us hints that the author is dead, and yet lay the suspicion upon somebody, I know not who, in the country.
(这位回答者的另一种公正做法是,暗示我们作者已死,并且把嫌疑指向了这个国家的某个人,我不知道是谁。)
——斯威夫特的《老爷船的故事》
My son is going to be married to I don't know who.
(我的儿子将要和一个我不知道的人结婚。)
——哥德史密斯的《好心人》
以上例句中的主格who是错误的,应该用宾格whom。
代词thou的主格复数形式ye在使用中常常代替宾格you出现,比如:
例61
His wrath which will one day destroy ye both.
(他的愤怒,总有一天会将你们二人毁灭。)
——米尔顿
The more shame for ye;holy men I thought ye.
(你们越发羞愧,我就越容易想到圣人。)
——莎士比亚
I feel the gales that from ye blow.(我感觉到你们吹来的大风。)
——格雷
Tyrants dread ye, lest your just decree Transfer the power and set the people free.
(暴虐的人哪,你们害怕公正的法令转移权力,让人民获得自由。)
——普莱尔
许多大作家在使用形容词时不假思索,胡乱选择比较的程度。
例62
Of two forms of the same word, use the fittest.
(在同一个单词的两个格式中,使用最合适的。)
——莫雷尔
作者本想给出好的建议,却做了个糟糕的示范。在这里他应该用比较级fitter。
本身拥有比较级或最高级含义的形容词不需要再在词前加more、most或在词尾加er、est,因此以下例句违背了这个规则。
例63
Money is the most universal incitement of human misery.
(金钱是人类苦难最普遍的诱因。)
——吉本的《罗马帝国衰亡史》
The chiefest of which was known by the name of Archon among the Grecians.
(其中最重要的一位是希腊人中的执政官。)
——德莱顿的《普鲁塔克的一生》
The chiefest and largest are removed to certain magazines they call libraries.
(最重要的和最大的被转移到他们称为《图书馆》的杂志上。)
——斯威夫特的《书籍之战》
The two chiefest properties of air, its gravity and elastic force, have been discovered by mechanical experiments.
(空气的两个最主要的性质——重力和弹力,是通过力学实验发现的。)
——阿尔伯斯诺
From these various causes, which in greater or lesser degree, affected every individual in the colony, the indignation of the people became general.
(由于这些或多或少都影响到殖民地中每一个人的原因,人民的愤怒变得普遍起来。)
——罗伯逊的《美国历史》
The extremest parts of the earth were meditating a submission.
(地球最遥远的地方都在沉思着服从。)
——阿特伯里的布道
The last are indeed more preferable because they are founded on some new knowledge or improvement in the mind of man.
(最后一种方法的确更可取,因为它们是建立在人类大脑的新知或进步的基础上的。)
——阿狄森,旁观者
This was in reality the easiest manner of the two.
(这实际上是两种方式中最简单的一种。)
——沙夫茨伯里对一名作家的建议
In every well formed mind this second desire seems to be the strongest of the two.
(在每个头脑健全的人看来,第二种欲望似乎是两者中最强烈的一种。)
——史密斯的《道德情感理论》
以上例句通通误用了最高级。只有两个比较对象的时候必须用比较级。
谈及可能性的时候,是没有对比程度的,然而还是出现了以下这些表达:
例64
As it was impossible they should know the words, thoughts and secret actions of all men, so it was more impossible they should pass judgment on them according to these things.
(因为他们不可能知道所有人的言语、思想和私人行为,所以更不可能通过这些事情来对人们进行批判。)
——惠特比的《基督教的必要性》
很大一部分作家把形容词作副词用,于是我们发现了以下例句:
例65
I shall endeavor to live hereafter suitable to a man in my station.
(以后我会努力过我这种社会地位的人应有的生活。)
——阿狄森
I can never think so very mean of him.
(我永远也不会把他想象成很坏的样子。)
——本特利的《关于法拉里斯的书信的论文》
His expectations run high and the fund to supply them is extreme scanty,
(他的期待水涨船高,然而资金却极度短缺,)
——兰卡斯特的《关于精致的论述》
关于动词的最常见的错误用法是无视动词和主语之间的关系。这种错误频繁出现在动词和主语相隔甚远的句子里,尤其是当动词跟在另一个不同数量的名词的后面时。这种错误常发生在either、or、neither、nor,和much、more、many、everyone、each这些词后面。
以下是一些作家犯错的例句。
例66
The terms in which the sale of a patent were communicated to the public.
(向公众传达专利销售的条款。)
——朱尼厄斯的信
The richness of her arms and apparel were conspicuous.
(她的胳膊和衣服十分华丽,这是显而易见的。)
——吉本的《罗马帝国衰亡史》
Everyone of this grotesque family were the creatures of national genius.
(这个怪诞家族的每个人都是民族天才的产物。)
——迪·伊瑟拉里
He knows not what spleen, languor or listlessness are.
(他不知道什么是愤怒,什么是倦怠,什么是无精打采。)
——布莱尔的布道
Each of these words imply, some pursuit or object relinquished.
(这其中的每一个词都暗示着放弃某种追求或目标。)
——伊比德
Magnus, with four thousand of his supposed accomplices were put to death.
(马格纳斯和他所谓的4000名同伙一同被处死。)
——吉本
No nation gives greater encouragements to learning than we do; yet at the same time none are so injudicious in the application.
(没有一个国家比我们更鼓励学习;但同时,在实施过程中没有谁比我们更不明智。)
——哥德史密斯
There's two or three of us have seen strange sights.
(我们中有两三个人见过奇怪的景象。)
——莎士比亚
过去分词不能用于过去时,然而学富五车的拜伦却忽视了这一点。他在《塔索的哀歌》中写道:
例67
And with my years my soul begun to pant With feelings of strange tumult and soft pain.
(随着岁月的流逝,我的灵魂开始因奇怪的骚动和轻柔的痛苦而喘息。)
另一个例句来自塞维吉的《漫游者》,一个句子里出现了两次这类错误。
例68
From liberty each nobler science sprung, A Bacon brighten'd and a Spenser sung.
(从自由中诞生了每一种更高贵的科学。点亮了培根,唱响了斯宾塞。)
其他和分词相关的错误如下。
例69
Every book ought to be read with the same spirit and in the same manner as it is writ.
(每本书都应该以与写作相同的精神和方式阅读。)
——菲尔丁的《汤姆·琼斯》
The Court of Augustus had not wore off the manners of the republic.
(奥古斯都的法院并没有消除共和国的风气。)
——休谟的散文
Moses tells us that the fountains of the earth were broke open or clove asunder.
(摩西告诉我们,地上的泉源破开了,或是裂开了。)
——伯内特
A free constitution when it has been shook by the iniquity of former administrations.
(一部自由的宪法,当它被前政府的罪恶所动摇。)
——博林布鲁克
In this respect the seeds of future divisions were sowed abundantly.
(在这方面,未来分裂的种子被大量播种。)
——伊比德
以下例句中,现在分词被用于动词不定式。
例70
It is easy distinguishing the rude fragment of a rock from the splinter of a statue.
(把粗糙的岩石碎片和雕像碎片区分开来是很容易的。)
——吉尔菲伦的《文学肖像》
在这里,应该用distinguish而不是distinguishing。
以下例句违反了shall和will的使用规则。
例71
If we look within the rough and awkward outside, we will be richly rewarded by its perusal.
(如果我们从粗糙和尴尬的外面向里看,我们将因细读得到丰厚的回报。)
——吉尔菲伦的《文学肖像》
If I should declare them and speak of them, they should be more than I am able to express.
(如果我要宣告并谈论他们,他们应该比我所能表达的还要多。)
——祈祷书,赞美诗11版
If I would declare them and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.
(如果我要宣告并谈论他们,他们的人数就太多了。)
——伊比德
Without having attended to this, we will be at a loss, in understanding several passages in the classics.
(如果不注意到这一点,我们就会在理解经典中的一些段落时不知所措。)
——布莱尔的演讲
We know to what cause our past reverses have been owing and we will have ourselves to blame, if they are again incurred.
(我们知道我们过去的挫折是由于什么原因造成的。如果它们再次发生,我们就得责怪自己了。)
——艾丽森的《欧洲史》
关于副词的错误使用在名家之作中极其常见。rather是一个频繁被误用的副词。特伦奇大主教在他的作品《英语的过去和现在》里写道:“It rather modified the structure of our sentences than the elements of our vocabulary.”这句话的正确形式应该是“It modified the structure of our sentences rather than the elements of our vocabulary.”
“So far as his mode of teaching goes he is rather a disciple of Socrates than of St. Paul or Wesley.”
这是莱斯利·斯蒂芬笔下的《塞缪尔·约翰逊》。他应该写成“So far as his mode of teaching goes he is a disciple of Socrates rather than of St. Paul or Wesley.”。
介词是一个常常被部分大作家误用的词类。一些名词、形容词和动词后面要接特定的介词。比如,different后面总是接from、prevail后面接upon、averse后面接to、accord后面接with等等。
以下例句中,括号里的介词是应该使用的。
He found the greatest difficulty of (in) writing.
(他发现了写作中最大的困难。)
——休谟的《英格兰史》
If policy can prevail upon (over) force.
(如果政策能够胜过武力。)
——阿狄森
He made the discovery and communicated to (with) his friends.
(他发现了这件事并和他的朋友们进行了交流。)
——斯威夫特的《老爷船的故事》
Every office of command should be intrusted to persons on (in) whom the parliament shall confide.
(每一个指挥部都应委托给议会委托的人。)
——麦考莱
少数几位著名作家违反常规,把介词放在句尾。比如卡莱尔在《关于彭斯的研究》中提及,“Our own contributions to it, we are aware, can be but scanty and feeble; but we offer them with good will, and trust they may meet with acceptance from those they are intended for.”(我们知道我们对它的贡献只能是有限和微弱的;但我们对它们寄予美好的期望,并相信他们可能会得到他们想要的。)
他应该写“for whom they are intended”。
Most writers have some one vein which they peculiarly and obviously excel in.
(大多数作家都有一种独特而又明显擅长的写作风格。)
——威廉·明托
这句话应该写成“Most writers have some one vein in which they peculiarly and obviously excel.”
许多作家使用多余的词重复地表达同样的想法和念头。这叫作赘述(tautology)。
Notwithstanding which (however) poor Polly embraced them all around.
(尽管如此,可怜的波莉还是接受了他们。)
——狄更斯
I judged that they would (mutually) find each other.
(我判断他们会找到彼此。)
——克罗基特
...as having created a (joint) partnership between the two Powers in the Morocco question.
(……在摩洛哥问题上两个大国建立了伙伴关系。)
——《泰晤士报》
The only sensible position (there seems to be) is to frankly acknowledge our ignorance of what lies beyond.
(唯一明智的立场是坦率地承认我们对未来的无知。)
——《每日电讯报》
Lord Rosebery has not budged from his position—splendid, no doubt, —of (lonely) isolation.
(毫无疑问,罗伯里斯勋爵的地位是显赫的,是孤独的。)
——《泰晤士报》
Miss Fox was (often) in the habit of assuring Mrs. Chick.
(福克斯小姐习惯于向奇科夫人保证。)
——狄更斯
The deck (it) was their field of fame.(甲板是他们的成名场所。)
——坎贝尔
He had come up one morning, as was now (frequently) his wont,
(有一天早上,他像往常一样来,)
——特罗洛普
The counsellors of the Sultan (continue to) remain skeptical
(苏丹的顾问们仍持怀疑态度)
——《泰晤士报》
Seriously, (and apart from jesting), this is no light matter.
(说真的,这不是件轻松的事。)
——白芝浩
To go back to your own country with (the consciousness that you go back with) the sense of duty well done.
(带着责任感回到你自己的国家。)
——霍斯尔伯里大法官
The Peresviet lost both her fighting-tops and (in appearance) looked the most damaged of all the ships
(Peresviet号在战斗中失去了两个战斗机,看起来是所有战舰中受损最严重的。)
——《泰晤士报》
Counsel admitted that, that was a fair suggestion to make, but he submitted that it was borne out by the (surrounding) circumstances.
(律师承认,这是一个合理的建议,但他认为这是由环境带来的。)
——伊比德
另一个使用并不必要的单词和词组的情况叫作迂回(termed circumlocution),也就是拐弯抹角,绕来绕去不讲重点。此时应精简叙事以节省空间。
这种情况可以比作从三角形的一端到另一端,不走直线而走三角形的另两条线。比如在以下引用中,“Pope professed to have learned his poetry from Dryden, whom, whenever an opportunity was presented, he praised through the whole period of his existence with unvaried liberality; and perhaps his character may receive some illustration, of a comparison he instituted between him and the man whose pupil he was.”(教皇声称从德莱顿那里学习了诗歌,只要有机会,他就毫不留情地赞美德莱顿的一生一世。也许他的性格可以从他和他的老师的比较中得到一些说明。),大部分连篇累牍的词句可以省略,因此句子凝练为:
“Pope professed himself the pupil of Dryden, whom he lost no opportunity of praising; and his character may be illustrated by a comparison with his master.”
(教皇自称是德莱顿的学生,他从不吝啬赞美德莱顿的机会;他的性格可以通过与他老师的相比较来说明。)
“His life was brought to a close in 1910 at an age not far from the one fixed by the sacred writer as the term of human existence.”
(他的生命在1910年结束,离这位神圣作家所定义的人类存在时代不远了。)
这句话的简洁版本为,“His life was brought to a close at the age of seventy.”(他的生命在70岁结束。);或者更简洁,“He died at the age of seventy.”(他70岁去世。)
“The day was intensely cold, so cold in fact that the thermometer crept down to the zero mark.”(那天非常冷,冷得温度计都悄然降到零度。),可以表达为“The day was so cold the thermometer registered zero.”(那天冷得连温度计都降到零度。)
许多作家连篇累牍,有时在碰到他们不太了解甚至一无所知的对象时用这一招,意在“铺垫”(padding),也就是填补空白。年轻作家要避开这一点,学会尽可能使用通俗易懂的词句简洁地表达想法和观念。
实际上,从名家之作中可以找到很多语法、措辞以及风格上的错误。事实证明,人无完人,就连最优秀的作家都有失手的时候。不过,这些错误多是由于粗心,或在仓促之中犯下的,而不是因为知识所限。
通常来说,在说话时鲜少出错的资深学者在写作中也有可能犯错。实际上,很多人都是完美的演讲大师,他们在谈话中从不出错;但他们对语法的基本规则知之甚少,以至于无法写出一个正确的句子。这类人从婴儿时期开始听到的都是正确的口头语,所以使用合适的词汇和格式已经成了他们的第二天性。对于孩子来说,学对的和学错的一样容易。在易受影响的年龄形成的印象,无论对错,都会一直停留在脑海里。就连鹦鹉都能学会正确用语。对鹦鹉说“Two and two make four”,它绝对不会说成“two and two makes four”。
然而,写作却是完全不同的情况。在没有基础语法知识的情况下,我们可以通过和大演说家交谈学会正确的口头语;但在同样的情况下,我们无法学会正确的写作。要写一封日常信件,我们必须知道信件的结构、词汇之间的关系。因此,每个人都有必要了解最基础、最重要的语法规则。